As I sit here in the middle of my 18-hour Thanksgiving travels, I started to think and do what many Americans are doing right now - stressing out. Yes, the holidays can be fun, magical, and true celebrations and times of thanks. Yet for many of us, the holidays are as joy filled as they are anxiety filled.
Why do the holidays increase our stress?
First of all, the holidays can be expensive (financially and emotionally). Often we get caught up in the seasonal "spending spirit." Many individuals and families financially spend more than they can in the attempt to have the perfect meal, home, trip, or gifts. Then consider the emotional cost of people pleasing during the holidays.
What can we do to reduce our holiday stress?
1) Set boundaries-financial. A recent national survey shows that nearly 75 percent of Americans identified finances concerns as one of their top life stressors. Try setting a budget at the beginning of the holiday season. Having an honest and reasonable assessment of what you can afford to spend will reduce impulse buying that often leads to holiday overspending.
2) Set priorities. Remember what the holiday season represents to you and your family. Try to focus on the meaning of the holidays versus spending. Remember that gifts do not need to be expensive, just meaningful.
3) Establish personal/emotional boundaries. Establish a plan of what you can and cannot do, for example, whether to travel, accept a party invitation, or host the family dinner. Deciding what family and religious traditions you will honor can also be important. This can even be more challenging when families are faced with separation, divorce, or blended families. Having open communication about what you need and balancing your needs with others can reduce disappointment and conflict.
4) Handle conflict assertively. Sometimes conflicts cannot be avoided. There may be long standing family issues or situational spats that arrive over the holidays. It is important to choose your battles. There is fine line between assertive and aggressive communication. Remember to share your concerns in a respectful manner.
5) Moderation. During this season of giving and celebration often we get out of our routines. Enjoying the holidays is important. So I say have that slice of pumpkin pie. Yet remember portion control and exercise. Avoiding holiday weight gain can reduce the stress of starting the New Year in need of a diet.
6) Take time for you. In this time of giving, remember to take care of yourself. Whether it is sitting and reading a book, having a quiet cup of tea, or taking a peaceful walk. Do something for yourself. Remember that self care if not selfish, it’s self-interested.
7) Seek professional help. If you are having difficulty coping this season, you may wish to seek the support of a professional. For more information about how to more effectively cope with holiday stress or to find a local psychologist, contact Dr. Susan West at Daniel Island Psychological Associates, LLC at 843-278-5402.
