An Ethical Will: Passing your values along with your valuables

When I was first out of college, I worked as an associate broker at Merrill Lynch. One of my jobs was to service the lead advisor’s clients; he did most of the investing and I helped to manage clients and service them.

One very wealthy client, Dr. Brown from Schenectady New York, was my favorite. He would call every morning between breakfast and his morning nap. Our phone conversations would last between 5 – 20 minutes in length. The conversations ranged from him regaling his life experiences, reading me excerpts of the latest book he was reading, sharing loss, singing me his favorite songs or teaching me Yiddish words like mashugana, shayna maidel and mentsh. I adored him. I was 24 years old and Dr. Brown was in his late 80’s.

Our morning calls lasted for just about a year until he fell sick and could no longer call. I thoroughly enjoyed our phone calls, but it is not until now, some 20 years later that I realize what he was really sharing with me.

Dr. Brown had a very successful medical career, raised two sons who took over his medical practice and was a leader in the Jewish community. Dr. Brown talked to me and shared his life with me, because frankly, everyone else around him was too busy to pay attention to an old man. I wish I would have recorded our calls, I wish I would have written down his many words of wisdom…not for my benefit, but for the benefit of his family. How they would love, after 20 years of his passing to hear his voice, and understand the essential truths he learned over his lifetime.

Most of my days I now spend with my own clients helping them invest and plan wisely so they may be able to lead the life they desire while still on this earth. We spend an inordinate amount of time planning for the unknowns, making sure we don’t run out of money and planning for when we are gone so that our money and possessions transfer according to our desires.

Recently I have been thinking a great deal about Dr. Brown and my own father who died suddenly at 60, wondering why we spend more time worrying about where our “things” go, rather than making sure the lessons of our life and our values are passed to future generations along with our valuables.

An ethical will is a personal document created in order for a person to leave their values, experiences and life lessons to their family. Coincidently, like Dr. Brown, an ethical will is of Jewish heritage. Ethical wills have a very long history, but are not as common today. Traditionally, these were written by the elder and presented to the family after the individual was gone. The documents were cherished and the blessings were kept and shared by everyone in the current and future generations. Why did such a meaningful tradition end? When did we stop valuing and sharing the lessons or our ancestors? Have we gotten so busy that the stories of where we come from and how our family was created no longer hold our interest?

We all need to unplug, stop and slow down. During the summer months we tend to spend quality time with family and friends. I encourage those of you who are lucky enough to still have your parents and grandparents --- take the time to learn from them. Create an ethical will together. Take the time to record your loved one’s stories, understand their struggles and what they truly value in life. Interview them, ask questions and record their words. For those of you who are retired, take the time to reflect on your life and what it is you wish future generations to carry on from you—document it and share it with you family. A great resource for questions and content is legacyproject.org. We all have a story to tell, let’s get started.

Charleston Investment Advisors is part of The Wealth Management Alliance LLC, a registered investment adviser. TW 16-006 (6/18)

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