A Grain of Truth

“What’s for breakfast?” I inquired as I entered the kitchen.

 

Both my lovely wife, Grace, and my Aunt Toogie looked up from their perusal of news items on their smartphones. Neither spoke until Toogie finally gruffed, “Go look yourself. What do you think this is, The Greenbrier?”

 

Grace smiled and added, “We have fresh fruit. Take a banana before they turn. And there are English muffins in the pantry.”

 

Rubbing my chin, I mused a moment. I had a banana and an English muffin yesterday. This was breakfast deja vu. My thoughts went back, many years, to breakfast at my grandmother’s house. Now that was breakfast! 

 

“How about scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast?” I blurted.

 

Grace sat down her coffee cup. “Well, we have eggs in the fridge. I think there is a box of pre-cooked bacon, but you may have to use the English muffins in place of toast.”

 

“It would be easier to go to Mpishi,” Toogie chortled.

 

“I’m thinking,” I interrupted, “about the kind of breakfast we used to eat at home when we were children.”

 

“Well, they do say breakfast is the most important meal,” Grace offered.

 

“Yeah,” I chimed in. “Say, I even remember doing a project in grade school. We cut out pictures of food from magazines and pasted them onto a paper plate. Breakfast was always eggs, bacon or sausage, and toast.”

 

“We did that, too,” Grace replied, “but then I think someone said that wasn’t such a healthy meal.”

 

“Healthy, smealthy!” Toogie barked. “My dad ate like that every morning before he went out to work the farm, and he lived to be 101.”

 

After a pause, Grace sighed, “Things just change over time. I’m not sure it’s progress, but they do. Our parents wouldn’t have drunk iced coffee either, but now half the people leaving Blondies, DIME, or Starbucks have a cold tea or coffee drink in the morning.”

 

Toogie and I nodded as Grace continued, “And look at all the varieties of fruit and protein bars that substitute for breakfast today. And don’t get me started on all the tricked-up, sugar-coated breakfast cereals!”

 

But start we did. Grace remarked that Publix must have more varieties of cereal than any other food item. Toogie reached for her phone to fact check. 

 

I commented that I read somewhere that stores put the sugar-coated cereals on the lower three shelves so that small children, on foot or in a cart, could see them at eye level. 

 

“What was your favorite cereal when you were growing up?” Grace asked.

 

I thought a bit and answered, “I liked Rice Krispies, Raisin Bran, and sometimes Shredded Wheat. My dad liked Shredded Wheat. But not the little bite-size stuff they have now. It was a big thing, shaped a bit like a bar of soap.”

 

“Harold ate the big Shredded Wheat, too,” Toogie stated. “It came in a box with a picture on the side of…”

 

“Niagara Falls,” I offered.

 

“Yep!” Toogie replied. She then directed the conversation back to present times. “I counted over 100 varieties of cereal on the Publix website and at least 25 or more varieties of both oatmeal and granola. That’s a lot of different cereal choices.”

 

“Yet we probably know the names of a lot of them from all the advertising and promotion they do,” Grace remarked, adding, “plus their mascots and slogans.”

 

Looking again at her phone, Toogie asked, “What is the slogan for Frosted Flakes?”

 

I began flipping through the files in my brain, but Grace beat me to it.

 

“They’re great,” she proclaimed.

 

“On the box, how many letter Rs are there in the word great?”

 

Grace replied quickly, “Three.”

 

“Correct,” Toogie retorted. “How about the slogan for Lucky Charms?”

 

“They’re magically delicious,” Grace answered, beaming like a first-grader who got 100 percent on a test.

 

“Let’s try mascots,” I suggested, thinking I might do better in that subject.

 

“Okay,” Toogie said, reaching for a pen and paper. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll make up a quiz for you.”

 

I popped an English muffin into the toaster and peeled a banana while she worked on the project. I finished my breakfast just as Toogie announced the rules for the mascot quiz. She gave Grace and me each a sheet of paper and had us number from one to 12. Then she proceeded to name 12 breakfast cereals and 12 mascots.

The mascots were not aligned with the proper cereal and our job was to accurately match them up.  

 

I quickly learned that I didn’t know jack, or Apple Jack, about mascots any more than I knew slogans. Grace beat me handily, although she did come up just short of a perfect score.

 

Want to try the quiz yourself? Better yet, play it against a child under the age of 10. I bet you a bowl of Cocoa Puffs they Kix your butt. 

 

CEREALS

1. Cap’n Crunch

2. Cocoa Pebbles

3. Cocoa Puffs

4. Corn Flakes

5. Frosted Flakes

6. Fruit Loops

7. Golden Crisp

8. Honey Nut Cheerios

9. Lucky Charms

10. Rice Krispies

11. Sugar Smacks

12. Trix

MASCOTS

A. Toucan Sam

B. Tony the Tiger

C. Sugar Bear

D. Sonny the Cuckoo Bird

E. Snap, Crackle and Pop

F. Rabbit

G. Leprechaun

H. Horatio Magellan Crunch

I. Fred Flintstone & Barney

J. Dig ‘em Frog

K. Cornelius the Rooster

L. Buzz the Bee

ANSWERS: 1-H, 2-I, 3-D, 4-K, 5-B, 6-A, 7-C, 8-L, 9-G, 10-E, 11-J, 12-F