How good are you at appreciating your strengths?
“If you think your skills are run-of-the-mill, dime-a-dozen, you don’t realize what others would love to learn from you.” – Liane Davey
How well do you know your strengths?
It’s a sad but confronting reality. As humans, we think far more about weaknesses than our strengths. It’s called the negativity bias: “the tendency… to give more attention to negative experiences than positive ones,” says Licensed Mental Health Counselor Lisa Jimenez.
A co-authored Harvard Business Review report, led by Laura Morgan Roberts, cites workplace reviews where “most feedback accentuates the negative” and focuses more on “areas for improvement” than an employee’s strengths.
24 STRENGTHS
Two decades ago, to help shift our focus, Ryan Niemiec and Robert McGrath created the Values in Action Classification Survey of Character Traits; a survey (see sidebar) to help people identify their strengths.
The authors’ memorable line: “Nowhere is your uniqueness clearer than with your signature strengths.”
Psychologist Dr. Jeremy Sutton notes that “strengths are not the same as passing interests, passions, or skills. They are long-lasting and central to how we think of ourselves.”
Adds entrepreneur Caren Merrick: "Strengths are a unique combination of your skills, talents, knowledge, and experience.”
And the authors at Therapist Aid remind us: “Personal strengths begin to seem ordinary, while the strengths of others feel novel and extraordinary.”
WHY SHOULD I LEARN ‘EM
So many reasons! Knowing one’s strengths helps build conf idence and resilience, can dampen negative self-talk, and improve relationships and mental health.
Says psychologist Catherine Moore of positivepsychology.com: “In positive psychology, cultivating and using our personal strengths is an integral part of striving for ‘the good life’ – very roughly speaking, the pursuit of eudaimonia or happiness.”
Beyond helping ourselves, knowing our strengths helps us recognize the strengths of others. “When you appreciate the strengths of others,” say the authors at strengthbasedliving. com, “you create a ripple effect of positivity that enriches lives with meaning, happiness, and success.”
STRENGTHS VS. WEAKNESSES
On the subject of weaknesses, I keep returning to Dr. Christian Hibbert’s memorable quote: “One of my strengths is seeing my weaknesses and choosing to work on them.”
Adds Georgia Pascoe of mentorloop.com: “Focusing on your strengths doesn’t mean ignoring your weaknesses, but rather using your strengths to overcome them.”
And the Harvard Business Review, authors maintain that “Knowing your strengths… allows you to say, ‘I’m great at leading but lousy at numbers. So rather than teach me remedial math, get me a good finance partner.’”
WE NEED YOU
Our final word, from psychologist Lise Deguire: “There is a need for all of us, with our unique abilities. Can you run fast? We need you. Can you soothe a crying baby? We need you. Can you fix a dishwasher? We need you. Are you a good listener? We need you. Are you reliably kind? We need you. The key is to recognize and value your own skills, and to develop them further to help our world – in both big and small ways.”
Determine your character strengths The Values in Action Classification Survey of Character Strengths “doesn’t put you in a box,” its authors explain. Instead, it “highlights what’s strong, not what’s wrong.”
The VIA’s 24 strengths are grouped into six major virtues. Unlike other personality tools, “the VIA survey takes a different approach – core, morally valued traits that are essential to who you are at your best.” Take the survey and see what resonates with you at viacharacter.org.
Humanity – Kindness, Love, Social Intelligence
Justice – Fairness, Leadership, Teamwork
Wisdom – Creativity, Curiosity, Judgment, Perspective, Love of Learning
Courage – Bravery, Honesty, Perseverance, Zest
Temperance – Forgiveness, Humility, Prudence, Self-Regulation
Transcendence – Gratitude, Hope, Humor, Spirituality, Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence