Lost in translation in a text-savvy world

The message on my phone said, ROFL. My reaction was, what is ROFL? I had sent a meme (Dalton is hip) to our granddaughter, Ellie. ROFL was her reply. I first guessed it was a typo and that she meant GOLF since she knows I enjoy playing. But the cartoon I sent wasn’t about golf. I then studied my keyboard to see if ROFL was the product of an errant keystroke on Ellie’s part. ROOF? Maybe. Or possibly WOLF? But neither felt like a plausible reply. I pondered ROFL. It seemed like an ancient rune. What did it mean? Finally, I gave up and asked the expert. No, not my lovely wife, Grace, although she is an expert in many things. I asked the other woman in my life, Alexa. Aha! Rolling On Floor Laughing. 

 

I understand LOL, OMG, and BFF. But I must admit, I am way behind the curve in the brave new world of text abbreviations. Or let me say it this way. TBF I realize that I am getting up in years but IMHO this texting shorthand thing gives people my age fits. AFAIK it may be a secret code to have people like me not know what is going on. If not that, it still leaves me SMH. ISTG I want to ask WDYM? IIRC there used to be a day when people would meet F2F IRL and converse with real words rather than these cryptic ciphers. FWIW I believe a return toward that direction would be GR8. YGTI.

 

My friend, Jeff, speculates this started when the post office made us write two-letter abbreviations for states rather than write out the full name. This was probably done to help mail sorting machinery rather than to save time for the masses. Okay, it may be a tad easier to write MA rather than Massachusetts or PA instead of Pennsylvania. But the time savings is pretty puny when you drop just two crummey letters for Iowa, Ohio, or Utah. Thus, I challenge you to the following test. Time how long it takes you to write out these four state names: Arizona, Arkansas, Alaska, and Alabama. Now time how long it takes you to write down their two-letter state abbreviations. Go ahead. TYT. Bet you ended up talking to Alexa, right? 

 

Personally, I blame the government, which has an insatiable appetite for making our lives more complicated. All this really exploded during the New Deal administration of Franklin Roosevelt, oops, I mean FDR, which gave us the CCC, WPA, CWA, TVA, SSA, BPR, SEC, FDIC, PBA (Public Buildings Administration, not to be confused with the Professional Bowlers Association PBA), and more. Today we have way more! A very partial list of government departments, agencies, and programs includes the ATF, CIA, CDC, DOD, DOE, DOJ, EPA, FAA, FCC, FDA, GAO, GSA, NIH, VA, and the beloved IRS. If I were POTUS I would axe the acronyms ASAP! 

 

Yet acronyms are everywhere. If I sit down to watch TV, I can watch SNL on NBC, NCIS or CSI on CBS, or an old movie on AMC or TCM. I can catch an MLB game or the PGA, and perhaps LIV, on ESPN. Soon there will be plenty of SEC, ACC, and NFL games to watch.

Perhaps something practical on HGTV or DIY? Or might I go for something more erudite on PBS or the BBC? One can’t escape acronyms here on little old DI either. Better check to be sure you will be in the right place before you head to a DINA, DICA, DIPA, or DITA meeting. Or you can grab a coffee and blueberry muffin at the DIME. 

 

All this leaves me, still, with my dilemma. How can I keep up with Ellie? Do I invest the time and bone up on the plethora of text abbreviations winging across the web today? Or do I admit that would probably be a bonehead move and just be content with my current situation? TBH one part of me says IDK. The other part says IDC!